Your Heart


“Above all else, guard your heart,  for everything you do flows from it.”Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)  
Do you ever work on an area of your life and then it gets worse?  This happened to me.  I had been praying about my words because I want them to bring honor to God. I know I need to show better judgement.  I don’t want to spout out things too quickly or sound rude, but that is exactly what I did at a spring softball game.The few previous weekends had been frustrating for Leah (and me) because she wasn’t getting much playing time.  I told her that these early games didn’t determine the whole season and to keep trying hard and stay positive, but in my head I was doing that dreaded thing that parents sometimes do- second guessing the coaches’ decisions.  Why wasn’t Leah getting a chance at that position instead of the girl playing it for two games in a row?  Blah, blah, blah.
On this afternoon, several players were missing for a music trip so Leah got to play.  She played well and as we were walking to our car, the coach said, “Wow!  What did you feed her today?  She played awesome.”
I blurted out, in a not-so-kind, tone, “She  hasn’t played in any other games yet.  We had no idea how she could play.”
Leah cringed, her eyes widened, and she said, “I seriously don’t even want to ride home with you.”  She walked ahead of me to get to the car and sat in the backseat to get as far from me as she could.  
I wished I could take that statement back.  I sounded rude.  I was feeling worn out from chasing my toddler around and this bit of weariness after a long day was just enough to take my focus away from controlling  my words... and without that extra bit of self-control, I blew it.  My words showed what was in my heart and it wasn’t nice.  
Leah should have been happy with how she played, but she sat there slumped and annoyed instead, because of me. I strapped Maycee in, and got in and apologized.  She didn’t answer.  After a few blocks, she told me it was okay and she was also sorry that she got mad at me.  I told her what I said wasn’t okay and I didn’t blame her.
That night and into the next day, I thought about how I had been praying about my words and now I said THIS comment. Things were getting worse and not better.  What was going on?

The following afternoon it hit me when the phrase, “It starts with your heart” came to my mind. A change in my words had to start with my heart.   When I think bad things, I eventually say the bad things.  And what I was thinking was this situation felt unfair and frustrating.  I was basing my thoughts on these feelings and that’s when my mouth fires off. I can never completely control my tongue so that isn’t the solution.  If I want to change my words, I have to work on my thoughts first.

During my devotion time the next morning I looked for wisdom to change what I was filling my mind with.  My answer came in Philippians 4:8-9 (MSG), “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”
I don’t want to just read these verses and feel peace for a moment, I want to put the verse into action so the peace remains with me.  How do I do that?  
When I feel frustrated by things I can’t control, I’m going to think , “Thoughts Need Real Adjustment Coming from God.”  WITH PRACTICE, I hope this phrase will trigger me to change my thinking to what is true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling,  and gracious.  
  1. T- What is TRUE?  
My daughter is healthy, able, and glad to be part of the team and be with her friends.  She would rather be there not playing than to not go to the game at all.
Not getting her way and being overlooked are part of life and things that she will need to deal with throughout her future.  God’s ways are not our ways and he sees the big picture that we can not see.  He may be working this out for her good and I do not want to get in the way of that.
2. N-What is NOBLE?   
God’s spirit living inside of us makes it possible to act upright and decent even when things don’t go the way we want.
3.  R-What is REPUTABLE?
Acting upright in less than perfect situations provides a chance to influence my reputation and bring glory to God.  I can think of other parents of kids who are not playing who are acting well.  They are cheering for the team regardless of their kid’s involvement.  I can do that too!  My actions and words matter because I call myself a child of God.
4.  What is AUTHENTIC?
TRUE thoughts come from God and are not lies only meant  to steal joy.  It is true that Leah is a good player and will most likely get her chance to play more.  She is only a sophomore.  But If she never gets a chance to play, it is not the most important thing.  It doesn’t define who she is. Her character matters more.  This situation provides an opportunity to shape that character.   The words that I choose to help her through a challenging situation can influence her in the right ways.  I don’t want to teach her an attitude of “It is not fair!”  
5.  C-What is COMPELLING?  
What truly matters most?  What do I want for Leah more than anything?
I want Leah to know that God has chosen her and made her one of his holy people. Therefore, He should be her highest priority.  I need to show that’s true by living in this way too.  She must trust God and His ways and have the courage to face challenges and make the right choices.  God wants us to be humble and this is a good opportunity.  I can help her have a lower view of her own importance by showing the value of this day isn’t based on whether or not she got to play or even if she played well.  She is with her friends and part of a team.  She has ways to influence and be a good teammate from the dugout.  I can also show that from the bleachers.
6.  G- What is GRACIOUS?
I have the opportunity to be courteous, kind and pleasant in any situation.   I can tell the coach thank you when she compliments Leah on a good day of play.
God is gracious and full of kindness and shows us compassion.  He wants us to treat others the same way.  Today I commit to trying.  I pray this becomes a way to put the verse into practice.  I am powerless on my own and I ask help from the Holy Spirit, believing all things are possible.
At the end of the day, I wanna hear people say
My heart looks like Your heart, my heart looks like Your heart
When the world looks at me, let them agree
That my heart looks like Your heart, my heart looks like Your heart






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