If We're Honest

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:12 (NIV)
The Post with the Most
Yesterday’s post was the one with the most... hesitation.  I wrote it a while back and I worked on it again in the morning and searched and searched for the right song.  I finally found one I was okay with so I posted it.  Within a few minutes, I deleted it.  It just felt blah.  I was not stressing over it and my thoughts didn’t feel condemning.  I just didn’t like it.  I looked back on it a few times throughout the day to fix it, but I just couldn’t get it where I wanted it to be.  I considered posting it anyway so I had something to show, even on the hard days, but I felt peace with stepping away from it for the day.
Is peace our answer for making decisions?  I think so. We go with the choice we feel the the most peace with.  My other “go to” when making decisions is to take the path of least resistance, which usually means I do nothing and things stay the way they are. This is the way I am dealing with a decision concerning my family and church.  
I grew up going to a church very similar to where we belong now.  It felt like home, but the services were boring to me. I knew we should go so I felt better when we went, but I didn’t understand most of it and never got a whole lot from a service.  Leah sometimes says this same thing to me now.

I wish I could say I only had the same thoughts when I was young like her, but this was my church experience until I was about 35 (and sometimes now). Then I went to a service at Lutheran Church of Hope and I loved it. I loved the music, the message, the way the service was centered on the Bible, and how I could apply it to my everyday life.  Going to these services changed my entire faith life.  It made me want to read my Bible and books on faith and attend bible studies.  I still listen to their online services every week and we go when we can.

We also go to our local church and we like being part of the community.  I thought Leah felt this way too so I was surprised a few weeks ago when she turned to me during a service and said," Mom, do we always have to go to this church."

I understood what she meant. She is just going through the motions.  She doesn’t understand much of the service.  She is bored.  She’s just not the target audience.   I understand tradition and I can appreciate that part of it, but I do think our church could  grow and change to reach younger people.  
I really love the people and pastor at our church in Jewell. Our pastor is a great guy, good storyteller, and a real hit with the over 70 crowd!  Boy, do they get a kick out of his jokes. I also love the serving heart of our church and their endless ways of helping others.   I sent an email recently to see if our church could help with a family with five children who lost their mother.  Pastor emailed me back immediately that we could do that.  Wow, I am so proud to be part of a church like this.

Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” God and the Gospel never change, but life is changing and people are changing.  I think the way the Gospel is shared must change too so everyone can experience God and understand how this relationship is meant to change our everyday life.  I have seen the impact of what this can do in my own life.

The song I chose today  starts with the lyric, “Sometimes truth is harder than a lie.”  It would be so much easier for me not to admit these thoughts.  I know Christianity isn’t about serving myself and church is for contributing not criticizing and I have done nothing to contribute to helping with this. I don’t feel it is my place and I don’t know really know how to contribute without offending someone.

Henry Ford said, "Don’t find fault, find a remedy."  My remedy has been not fully committing to either church. Is the right remedy committing to a new church or can I find a way to become more committed to our current church and look past the old hymns that are too hard for me to sing?
I have more questions than answers and I still don’t feel peace.  I pretend to be something that I am not-easily satisfied, low-maintenance, and need free.  For now, my family still goes to both services here and there.  I am still praying.  None of this is easy to say out loud, but these are just my thoughts when I am honest.
 Proverbs 24:26  (ERV)-An honest answer is as pleasing as a kiss on the lips.

















 

 


 

 









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