Beauty for Ashes

I get asked often if Dede is my real name.  Yep, it’s not a nickname or short for anything. I have never liked it because it’s different and I have to repeat it, spell it, and correct the mispronunciations.  If we have to give our name for a table at a restaurant, I always say Leah or Mark because it’s easier.  Once, Mark was asked for his name and he said mine to get me back for all the times I’ve given his.  I laughed as he had to repeat it two or three times before they could write it down.

As I have gotten older I don’t give my name much thought anymore, but recently I did while listening to a book that asked readers to find out what their name meant.  I was curious so I got online to check it out.  I didn’t like what I found, so I checked another site, and then another.  They all varied a little, but the most common meaning I found was ‘brokenhearted’.  How disappointing.  I was hoping for lovely or joy-filled or something at least a little bit positive.  Brokenhearted was a real downer.  

Thankfully, the next direction was to find a bible verse connected to the meaning. I was able to find several and my favorites was, Psalm 34:18, ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” What a beautiful assurance to know he is close during our hardest times.  I needed Him near during a childhood my mom describes by saying,” we put the fun in dysfunction” and  I still need God closeby through my trials, mistakes, and disappointments.

I remembered another verse about the brokenhearted spoken by the prophet Isaiah, “The Lord God has put his Spirit in me, because the Lord has appointed me to tell the good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort those whose hearts are broken, to tell the captives they are free, and to tell the prisoners they are released. He has sent me to announce the time when the Lord will show his kindness and the time when our God will punish evil people. He has sent me to comfort all those who are sad and to help the sorrowing people of Jerusalem. I will give them a crown to replace their ashes, and the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow, and clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness. Then they will be called Trees of Goodness, trees planted by the Lord to show his greatness. Isaiah 41:1-3

Reading these verses brought me back to a night last winter.  We had gone to a Superbowl party and I left at halftime to put Maycee to bed and Mark stayed to finish the game.  When I began rocking her to sleep, I started getting upset that he had stayed, even though I told him to.  I started stewing over a couple of comments he had made and his annoyance at me for not bringing Maycee’s sippy cup.  Then I started feeling my own frustration at being in charge of everything.  These thoughts began to escalate and I found myself getting teary and upset.  Suddenly, I realized what I was doing felt like squeezing broken glass in my hand.  I felt hurt and the more tightly I held onto that hurt, the worse it felt.  I had to let it go.  

As I sat in the silence, I remembered parts of the verse from Isaiah, “I will give them a crown to replace their ashes,and the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow, and clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness.”

I had to let go of the ashes, sorrow, and spirit of sadness so God could replace it with gladness and praise.  When Maycee fell asleep, I looked up the verses and I was able to let go of the hurt I was grasping onto so tightly.
The next morning when we were running, I tried describing this “God moment” to Paula.  Like usual, I couldn’t remember the verse very well so when I got home, I looked it up again and sent it to her. These extra steps were what helped me remember the verses when I began thinking about the brokenhearted.  I need to hold these verses in my mind to replace my tendency to hold on to sorrow and sadness.  I do it simply out of pride and habit.  I need to let of the ashes so God can replace it with beauty.

My heart may get hurt and banged up by this messy life, but brokenhearted doesn’t define who I am.  Jesus has the power to rename and redefine me.  My name doesn’t have to be ‘brokenhearted’ or any of the other hurtful names I sometimes call myself.   They can’t possibly be true when the Lord calls us Trees of Goodness and has planted us to be strong to bring Him glory.  What do you need to let go of so God can replace it with the goodness He has in store for you?  

Jacob, the Lord created you. Israel, he made you, and now he says, “Don’t be afraid. I saved you. I named you. You are mine. Isaiah 43:1 (ERV)

The guard at the gate opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. John 10:3 (CEB)

 

 











 



 







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Little By Little

Psalm 27:14 (NIV)   Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. When I want something, I want it quickly.  It’s why I love Amazon Prime. I find what I want, make a few clicks, and it’s delivered to my front porch within a few days.    My husband thinks it’s too quick and easy and a look into our pantry could prove him right. But despite the veggie spiralizer and some other unused items cluttering our shelves, I love this amazing service. But waiting for the things we really long for often takes much longer,  like when we are praying for our circumstances to change.  Sometimes the waiting hurts and leaves us questioning why.   Exodus 23 is a reminder that God’s ways and timing are better than our own.  God told Israel he would help them take back the land he had promised by sending His great power before them to force their enemies away.  He explained that this would happen slowly because  it was necessary for the process to happen just a little at
Read more

God's power

2 Peter 1:3-4(CEV) We have everything we need to live a life that pleases God. It was all given to us by God’s own power, when we learned that he had invited us to share in his wonderful goodness. God made great and marvelous promises, so that his nature would become part of us . Then we could escape our evil desires and the corrupt influences of this world. “We have learned that the satisfaction of instincts cannot be the sole aim of our lives.” I don’t have a problem with alcohol,  yet this principle from AA applies to me because for years I was driven more by my own desires than trying to please God. I was a Christian and member of a church, but I was often in pursuit of something or someone to find happiness.    I believed in God, but it took attending a new church for me to be made new in my heart and in my thinking.( Ephesians 4:23)  This allowed the Spirit freedom to work within me so God’s nature could become part of me.   I felt my spirit awake with a new hope tha
Read more

God wants you to be holy

“I want a purity ring.” Hearing you say these words made me so happy.  Being pure is something to be proud of and I’m grateful that you know it.  I didn’t know it at your age. I was pure, but my friend sometimes teased me about it.  One of my friends joked about the” V” on my forehead, but I didn’t want to be like my friends who went all the way with guys who didn’t seem to care about them.   Over the next few years, not all of my decision were perfect, but still I waited. My mom was very open; more than I was comfortable with.  I remember visiting her at the bar where she worked one afternoon.  She was talking with some customers and said, “I used to have tits, but I gave them to her,” and nodded her head my way.   I felt time stop and wanted to crawl into a hole.  I was uncomfortable in my changing body and hated when my mom pointed out anything about it.  She often joked about sex with her friends and sisters. This made me more self-conscious, private, and never ope
Read more